August 16, 2012

By Kenneth Miller

 

[Editor’s note: Ken Miller is an award winning veteran journalist who spent 30 years writing for the L.A. Sentinel and has been a popular guest on local sports talk radio for several years. This is the first edition of his weekly sports column.]

 

Yo! Miller from the Bottoms here, spitin’ some sporty as you would from your twitter box or Facebook page.

 

The thoughts and dialect are not abject narratives from your college professor or prep English teacher, in fact I am not sure where d’ hell they come from since I never had access to either.

 

Finally, the Brits have told the world to go home so that now they can count them pounds and digest the finest body parts of the pig.

 

I am not quite sure that I was watching the Olympics or the Outerlimits. Most of the action I checked out was so late at night the results were already known and because London is a clear eight hours ahead of us what I assumed was primetime was pastime.

 

Clearly, the big winner of the games was lil Gabby Douglas whom many ignorant Black folk were so consumed with her hair style they totally missed out on her history making double gold medal efforts.

 

After Gabby had won the all around title, I didn’t quite understand why she was competing in the same events again for individual medals. It seemed a bit redundant to me. Sort of like winning the Super Bowl or NBA title and then saying, I think I’ll go back and play against the No. 8 seed.

 

Gabby’s mom had filed for bankruptcy to support her darling teenage child and I’ve read that her father is a just a sperm donor, so it will be 16-year old Gabby in a true rags to riches saga now being the breadwinner of the family.

 

I haven’t had Corn Flakes in a long time, but now that Gabby is on the box I might just see if they still taste the same with bananas and sugar.

 

Who cares if this Olympic team could have beat the Dream Team? All Laker fans should be concerned with is their superstar shooter being a sidebar on an Olympic Gold medal winning team where all of the most prominent stars are younger than 30.

 

It’s almost as if Kobe Bryant is already a shadow of himself, celebrating every three as if it were his last. Can anybody name more than a handful of the players that this team played against? Poor Nigeria…

 

Did Oscar De la Hoya and Golden Boy think they were going to keep eating all of those free meals off Money Mayweather as his rent-a-promoter?

 

The only question I have is what took so long for Mayweather and his filthy rich rapper homey Fitty to come to their senses and began reaping all of the financial benefits from the cash cow in the sport of boxing.

 

My main man DK kicked in a half mil to Money to try and secure a deal, only to be left contemplating a lawsuit to get it back. Now he too is on the outside looking in at what could be the new kids on the promoting block.

 

Finally, flags in the hood should be at half mass this week in memory of the late Chad Johnson or Ocho Cinco who was buried as a professional football player this week and as a celebrity husband.

 

I am sure that you heard of our boy getting caught by his non-Black wife of a month in a half with a sleeve of rubbers in the trunk of the car.

 

Instead of soothing his VH1 basketball wives cast member by lying and saying one of the other boys on the team left them there, Chad decided to go WWF and head butted her.

 

She ran from the car into a neighbors house called the po-po, he was arrested with a case of domestic violence, or the OJ Law. The Dolphins dump him the next day. The wife flees and says he needs help and now Chad ain’t got no money or no honey.

 

Then he sends out this lame statement about how he is going to focus on his NFL career. Chad wake up! It’s over. You can’t play football and you can’t play your wife. If a desperate team does pick you up the Boy Wonder Commish’ll immediately suspend you!

 

Until next week! Holla!!!

 

Follow me on twitter @kokenz

 

Category: Sports

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